


The Morning After

by dancenwrite



Category: Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Asexual Character, Asexual Steve Rogers, Fluff, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-27
Updated: 2018-07-27
Packaged: 2019-06-17 08:34:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,132
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15457413
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dancenwrite/pseuds/dancenwrite
Summary: Last night they did something they haven't done before (but really really wanted to). This is the discussion the next morning. And it might just be the start of something more.





	The Morning After

“Hey.” Tony put his arm on Steve’s shoulder. Steve stopped walking and braced himself as he turned around to face Tony. He knew they had to have this conversation. And he never turned away from the difficult things in life, so why start now? But damn if he didn’t want to run away from this.

“Hey Tony.” Steve sighed and put on a smile. “What’s up?” Tony rolled his eyes and quirked his eyebrow at Steve.

“Okay, yeah. That was a stupid question.” Tony smiled in return and slowly lowered his hand from Steve’s shoulder, grazing his arm along the way. The hairs on Steve’s arm stood up at the feather-light touch.

“So I feel like I should just put out there that I’m totally flattered,” Tony said.

“Of course you are, Tony.” Steve rolled his eyes, but he relaxed all the same – no longer in the stiff military stance he had unconsciously been in.

“There you go Stevie-boy.” Tony smiled at the change in posture. “Why don’t we sit down, huh?”

Tony had already walked toward the couch and sat down. He was back in the exact spot as last night: legs out and crossed in front of him, one arm along the head of the couch, the other hand relaxed on his stomach. Steve figured that was Tony’s point. The challenging smirk was all the confirmation Steve needed. He took a bracing breath and sat in the nook where Tony’s arm met his shoulder. Tony dropped his arm across Steve’s back and lazily rubbed his thumb over Steve’s shoulder. Steve was on fire but he feigned bravery as he always did. He made himself relax into the couch… and into Tony.

They stayed like that for a minute, just breathing together. Tony’s thumb kept up its movement and Steve uncrossed his arms and rubbed his palms on the fabric covering his knees.

“So?” Tony elongated the vowel, turning it into a question.

“Um, yeah. So.” Steve was still only feigning comfort.

“Steve, come on. It’s only me.” Tony used his hand to gently coax Steve’s head to rest on his shoulder.

Steve sighed and gave in to the weight in his head that demanded he rest it on Tony’s shoulder. “Right. Only you. Only my best friend. Only the person who gave me a home,” Steve whispered.

“Exactly,” Tony said. “Come on. You know we can talk about everything. Steve, you have to know, wherever this conversation goes it could never mess us up. You’ll always be the most important person to me.”

Steve smiled shakily and picked up his head to look Tony in the eye. His eyes were so warm.

“If you say it, I guess it must be true. After all, everything that comes out of your mouth is always a 100% accurate, isn’t it?”

“That’s exactly right. See, you know me so well.” Steve rested his head on Tony’s shoulder again. This time actually cuddling in. Steve laid his hand close to Tony’s on his stomach.

“So, last night,” Tony began. “Movie night. We both finally gave in and actually cuddled. I kissed the top of your head while you were snoozing. But that ridiculous Hawk-baby snapped a really loud picture. You jumped straight up, reoriented yourself and then ran away to your bedroom. Did I miss anything?” Tony threaded his fingers through Steve’s, making the honesty a little softer.

“No. Except, I didn’t know for sure that you, um.” Steve pointed at his forehead. “I thought I dreamt it.”

“You definitely did NOT dream it.” Tony emphasized the point by placing a kiss on Steve’s forehead. Steve definitely did not blush.

“I see you’re just going full force with this,” Steve said.

“Honey, you haven’t seen full force yet,” Tony replied.

Steve stiffened. “Right. That’s what we need to talk about.”

“Steve, you know I’m joking, right? Don’t tell me I need to explain to you of all people that I’m not actually a playboy anymore.” Tony was closing off. He’d untangled their hands and took his arm off of Steve’s shoulder. It was a shock in comparison to the openness that was present half a second ago. Steve needed to get back to where they were before.

“No! Tony. You absolutely do NOT need to explain that to me. Don’t make me rant. You know how I get with the media. I will go off on you too if I have to. And neither of us want to see me become a ‘raging watermelon.’” Tony chuckled and relaxed back into the couch again. Steve was satisfied (relieved really). “Come on, we just went over how well we know each other.”

“You’re right.” Tony invitingly placed his arm back along the headrest. “I’m sorry.”

“No.” Steve didn’t want Tony to feel rejected again, but he wasn’t ready to cuddle just yet. Not until he got the next part out. Instead, Steve took Tony’s hand off the headrest and cradled it between both his palms. “No Tony. I’m sorry. I haven’t been honest with you. For all that we know each other, there’s one thing I haven’t told you. Natasha has known forever, but I’ve never been able to tell you. I’ve been scared.”

“You know I’d never ju–” Tony started.

Steve shook his head. “Of course I know you’d never judge me. That’s not my fear.”

“Okay. Good.” Tony nodded, but his eyebrows showed he was perplexed. “So what are you afraid of?”

“I’m afraid that what I say next will kill all the hope I’ve ever had of where we could go.” Steve was squeezing Tony’s hand too hard and forced himself to loosen up. Of course Tony hadn’t shown any sign of pain. As if he ever would.

Tony smirked. “Where _**do**_ you think we could go?” His eyebrows were dancing up and down ridiculously.

“Cards on the table? I want us to be together romantically for as long as possible.” Steve’s frankness took Tony by surprise. Somehow it always did. No one in Tony’s life has ever been honest the way Steve was.

Tony’s eyes softened. “I want that too, babe.” He raised his free hand to cup Steve’s cheek and leaned forward for a kiss.

Steve leaned back. “Wait,” he panicked.

Tony groaned and pushed his forehead against Steve’s. “Alright. What else do you have left to say?”

“I’m asexual. I don’t–” Steve blurted out.

“I know,” Tony interrupted.

“… want. What?” Steve backed up to look Tony in the eye.

“Steve. Babe. Honey. I know. Well, that’s not strictly true. I assumed. And I assumed Natasha knew because she always shoots me and Clintofher this super scary look when we get too in depth about our sexual fantasies. Or ask you **_those_** kinds of questions.”

“I never told her to do that. But, yeah. I’ve realized she was doing that and– Don’t repeat this to her, she’ll have my head. But it was so sweet I couldn’t tell her to stop.” Steve smiled at the memory of Clint’s wide, fearful eyes and the way he tried to stuff a hot omelet into his mouth, only to yelp because he burnt his tongue.

“Like anyone could tell Natasha to do or not do anything.” Tony shivered at the mere idea.

Steve chuckled. “Right.”

“So you’re asexual. Want to tell me what that means for you and why you stupidly think it means I won’t want to be with you,” Tony said.

“Stupidly think– Tony! You’re a sexual person. And sure, I have no idea what that actually means, but don’t pretend it means this can work.” Steve was indignant now and turning red real fast.

“Raging watermelon.” Tony poked Steve’s nose. “That color does nothing for you, babe.”

Steve huffed and tried to calm down. He wasn’t really even angry right now. He was scared. Tony was only trying to diffuse the tension, Steve reminded himself.

“Tony, I know sex is an important way for you and your partner to share intimacy. You can’t just push that aside. And yeah, I’m willing to try anything once but it’d be more of a research experiment than anything else for me,” Steve said.

“You know I’m always down for a good experiment, Steve.” Tony eyebrows stupidly danced again.

Steve rolled his eyes, but a small smile graced his lips nonetheless.

“What I’m _**trying**_ to say.”

Tony held up his hands in surrender.

“Thank you,” Steve continued. “What I’m trying to say is that I know it’s important for you and for your relationships. And, well. Asexuality for me means that I literally don’t understand what sexual desire is. Romance, yes. I really want to be intimate and have a full relationship. And maybe, possibly, there _**might**_ be a chance of us having sex once. But.” Steve sighed and averted his eyes. Tony gently turned Steve’s head back to face him. When Steve looked up again, Tony was smiling kindly at him.

“But?” Tony asked, allowing him to finish his thoughts for once. Demanding that he did, actually. And Steve found warmth and strength in that realization.

“But there is a close to 100% chance that sex is not something I can ever share with you. And I know it’s selfish, but I also wouldn’t want you finding sex with someone else. I get that it works for some people, and I know I’m not even opening myself up to the possibility but–”

“Steve, honey. Breathe.” Steve didn’t realize he was rushing his words into one big jumble. “First of all, there isn’t a selfish bone anywhere in you. Heaven knows I wish you did sometimes. But you don’t. Don’t make **_me_** rant.” Steve smiled softly at that. He opened his mouth to retort, but Tony just kept talking.

“Two. You’ve opened yourself up to the possibility just by thinking about it. And, honey, I’ve made it my younger self’s mission to try everything at least once. I’ve learned that I’m not into polyamory if my paramour isn’t into it. That’s basically it for me babe. Yes I have desires, but my number one need is that my partner and I are both comfortable. Which brings me to three: you’re absolutely right. Sex is all about sharing intimacy with my partner for me. And Steve.”

Tony took his hand out from between both of Steve’s and threw his arms around Steve’s neck, pushing their foreheads together again. Steve closed his eyes and sighed, overwhelmed by the release of his fears.

Tony savored their shared heat before continuing, “This is more than intimate enough for me. Frankly, this is more intimate than a lot of the sex I’ve had.”

“How can that be true?” Steve’s eyes were still closed, absorbing as much of this moment as he could. He wanted to remember this always. It felt like the beginning of forever.

“Steve. Open your eyes.” Steve did. His sight was a little blurry, but Tony’s eyes looked bright as well. He wasn’t the only one overwhelmed. “It’s true, Steve, because it’s you. It’s true because it’s us. It’s true because I love you. It’s true because I just **_know_** that I’m not the only one who feels like this is the beginning of the rest of our lives. Now let me kiss you, goddammit.”

Steve laughed, a spare tear falling from his eye. Tony smiled back and wiped the tear away. His thumb caressed Steve’s cheek.

“Before we get to that,” Steve said, “I just want to say one more thing.”

“Sure babe. Just make it quick. I’m getting real eager over here.” Tony was still smiling and still stroking Steve’s cheek; his eyes as warm and comforting as melting chocolate. Steve knew he was in no rush whatsoever. He knew Tony would go at whatever pace he set.

“I just want you to know that I love you. I love you too, Tony. That’s it. Now kiss me,” Steve said.

“Oh, I will,” Tony replied.

“Then do it,” Steve whispered. They were both already leaning forward.

They met in the middle, as they always did. Tony led and Steve followed. Steve grabbed the front of Tony’s shirt to hold him in place, but only because Tony allowed him to. Tony pushed at Steve’s lips and Steve gave in, but only because he already wanted to. This is how they always were and how they always would be.

When they parted, Steve took Tony’s face in both his hands. “You realize this is it, right? There are no more take backs. I gave you all the outs I am capable of giving you. From now on, this is it. And I will fight anyone who tries to hurt us. Including you.”

“Good,” Tony said. “I will hold you to that for the rest of our lives.”


End file.
